03 Nov 2014, 8:03 pm
#723
(03 Nov 2014, 5:39 pm)AdamY I live with a lot of regret in my life. Some of that regret stems from the fact that, like you, I tend to over analyse situations. For me, it gets to the point where I somehow manage to convince myself that something I think is a good idea will lead to something bad (or that the effort is not worth it). When analysing these situations further, you sometimes end up regretting not acting upon initial impulse.
To relate this to your situation, around 15 years ago, there was this girl who I mad about. We were friends but I also had reason to believe that she also liked me. My analysis, combined with a lack of self-confidence, convinced me not to pursue things further and our friendship remained platonic. I don't know how the relationship would have panned-out if we had gotten together - it may have been a complete disaster - or even if she'd considered going with me but, one thing I do know, is that I still think of her regularly and wonder 'what if'.
A month and a half may not seem like a lot of time for a relationship to develop but it could also prove to be one of the better experiences of your life.
The only question you have to ask yourself is can you live with not knowing how it all could have panned-out?
I'm with you on that point, I am not the only one who thinks too much...My problems are a little bit deeper than just lack of confidence though
A few things have hampered me over the years,
1.My lack of self confidence has cost me dearly, I could have been with some lovely girls, but always blew, while I am confident around girls the old saying 'If it looks to be good to be true, it probably is' always floats round my head, I am going through the same right now, you will know what I mean if you seen what posted last Friday night.
2. Life has dealt me a bad hand, I am frightened of turning into my biological dad, who was very handy with his fists so to speak, and despite being told I am the complete opposite to him, it has been a reason to fear commitment, because a mixture of mental health problems made sure of that as well
3. I am frightened of physical contact is serious, I was viciously assaulted when I was 17, I was scarred enough to the point that, since 2003, I have only had 3 very short relationships and sex 4 times, the last time being 2 years ago
(03 Nov 2014, 7:32 pm)Adam One of my favourite quotes is this: "Always tell someone how you feel, because opportunities are lost in the blink of an eye, but regret can last a lifetime".
Like I said yesterday, it's a lot to think about and I still haven't really made any progress. There are some things in life when you have to adopt a "grin and bare it" attitude.
Turns out I'm out with them tonight so you never know what might happen. Once I've had a few drinks anything can happen.
As my former Ethics teacher said, "it's always good to have a drink, because alcohol loosens the brain, and the looser the brain is the freer you think".
I dont like telling girls how I feel, It always ends in tears, it has left me bitter and heartbroken too many times now...One funny story concerns a former Metro Radio DJ(no names mentioned), in 2003 I went to Amsterdam with Metro, me and the DJ picked a couple of birds, and the DJ threatened me 'If you dont jump into bed soon, I will tell everyone you bottled it on my next show' bit of a cruel thing to do, but I lauh at it now, although I never had sex with her, was the best night I had for a long time
