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MurdnunoC



3,975
03 Nov 2014, 5:39 pm #721
(02 Nov 2014, 8:48 pm)Adam Sound advice that. Thank you.

My head says one thing, my heart another.

I'm really not sure if the friend feels the same way or not.

It is very hard to keep everyone happy. I don't want to make my friendship with them awkward, and I don't want their friendship to be awkward either.

And it does seem a bit pointless if we've only got a month and a bit left.

Doing A-Level Ethics has made this a hell of a lot harder. I've got all the different theories running through my mind; Utilitarianism, Kantian Ethics, Virtue Ethics.

I live with a lot of regret in my life. Some of that regret stems from the fact that, like you, I tend to over analyse situations. For me, it gets to the point where I somehow manage to convince myself that something I think is a good idea will lead to something bad (or that the effort is not worth it). When analysing these situations further, you sometimes end up regretting not acting upon initial impulse.

To relate this to your situation, around 15 years ago, there was this girl who I mad about. We were friends but I also had reason to believe that she also liked me. My analysis, combined with a lack of self-confidence, convinced me not to pursue things further and our friendship remained platonic. I don't know how the relationship would have panned-out if we had gotten together - it may have been a complete disaster - or even if she'd considered going with me but, one thing I do know, is that I still think of her regularly and wonder 'what if'.

A month and a half may not seem like a lot of time for a relationship to develop but it could also prove to be one of the better experiences of your life.

The only question you have to ask yourself is can you live with not knowing how it all could have panned-out?
MurdnunoC
03 Nov 2014, 5:39 pm #721

(02 Nov 2014, 8:48 pm)Adam Sound advice that. Thank you.

My head says one thing, my heart another.

I'm really not sure if the friend feels the same way or not.

It is very hard to keep everyone happy. I don't want to make my friendship with them awkward, and I don't want their friendship to be awkward either.

And it does seem a bit pointless if we've only got a month and a bit left.

Doing A-Level Ethics has made this a hell of a lot harder. I've got all the different theories running through my mind; Utilitarianism, Kantian Ethics, Virtue Ethics.

I live with a lot of regret in my life. Some of that regret stems from the fact that, like you, I tend to over analyse situations. For me, it gets to the point where I somehow manage to convince myself that something I think is a good idea will lead to something bad (or that the effort is not worth it). When analysing these situations further, you sometimes end up regretting not acting upon initial impulse.

To relate this to your situation, around 15 years ago, there was this girl who I mad about. We were friends but I also had reason to believe that she also liked me. My analysis, combined with a lack of self-confidence, convinced me not to pursue things further and our friendship remained platonic. I don't know how the relationship would have panned-out if we had gotten together - it may have been a complete disaster - or even if she'd considered going with me but, one thing I do know, is that I still think of her regularly and wonder 'what if'.

A month and a half may not seem like a lot of time for a relationship to develop but it could also prove to be one of the better experiences of your life.

The only question you have to ask yourself is can you live with not knowing how it all could have panned-out?

Adam



717
03 Nov 2014, 7:32 pm #722
(03 Nov 2014, 5:39 pm)AdamY I live with a lot of regret in my life. Some of that regret stems from the fact that, like you, I tend to over analyse situations. For me, it gets to the point where I somehow manage to convince myself that something I think is a good idea will lead to something bad (or that the effort is not worth it). When analysing these situations further, you sometimes end up regretting not acting upon initial impulse.

To relate this to your situation, around 15 years ago, there was this girl who I mad about. We were friends but I also had reason to believe that she also liked me. My analysis, combined with a lack of self-confidence, convinced me not to pursue things further and our friendship remained platonic. I don't know how the relationship would have panned-out if we had gotten together - it may have been a complete disaster - or even if she'd considered going with me but, one thing I do know, is that I still think of her regularly and wonder 'what if'.

A month and a half may not seem like a lot of time for a relationship to develop but it could also prove to be one of the better experiences of your life.

The only question you have to ask yourself is can you live with not knowing how it all could have panned-out?

One of my favourite quotes is this: "Always tell someone how you feel, because opportunities are lost in the blink of an eye, but regret can last a lifetime".

Like I said yesterday, it's a lot to think about and I still haven't really made any progress. There are some things in life when you have to adopt a "grin and bare it" attitude.

Turns out I'm out with them tonight so you never know what might happen. Once I've had a few drinks anything can happen.

As my former Ethics teacher said, "it's always good to have a drink, because alcohol loosens the brain, and the looser the brain is the freer you think".
Adam
03 Nov 2014, 7:32 pm #722

(03 Nov 2014, 5:39 pm)AdamY I live with a lot of regret in my life. Some of that regret stems from the fact that, like you, I tend to over analyse situations. For me, it gets to the point where I somehow manage to convince myself that something I think is a good idea will lead to something bad (or that the effort is not worth it). When analysing these situations further, you sometimes end up regretting not acting upon initial impulse.

To relate this to your situation, around 15 years ago, there was this girl who I mad about. We were friends but I also had reason to believe that she also liked me. My analysis, combined with a lack of self-confidence, convinced me not to pursue things further and our friendship remained platonic. I don't know how the relationship would have panned-out if we had gotten together - it may have been a complete disaster - or even if she'd considered going with me but, one thing I do know, is that I still think of her regularly and wonder 'what if'.

A month and a half may not seem like a lot of time for a relationship to develop but it could also prove to be one of the better experiences of your life.

The only question you have to ask yourself is can you live with not knowing how it all could have panned-out?

One of my favourite quotes is this: "Always tell someone how you feel, because opportunities are lost in the blink of an eye, but regret can last a lifetime".

Like I said yesterday, it's a lot to think about and I still haven't really made any progress. There are some things in life when you have to adopt a "grin and bare it" attitude.

Turns out I'm out with them tonight so you never know what might happen. Once I've had a few drinks anything can happen.

As my former Ethics teacher said, "it's always good to have a drink, because alcohol loosens the brain, and the looser the brain is the freer you think".

MrFozz

Website
Marxista Fozzski

5,562
03 Nov 2014, 8:03 pm #723
(03 Nov 2014, 5:39 pm)AdamY I live with a lot of regret in my life. Some of that regret stems from the fact that, like you, I tend to over analyse situations. For me, it gets to the point where I somehow manage to convince myself that something I think is a good idea will lead to something bad (or that the effort is not worth it). When analysing these situations further, you sometimes end up regretting not acting upon initial impulse.

To relate this to your situation, around 15 years ago, there was this girl who I mad about. We were friends but I also had reason to believe that she also liked me. My analysis, combined with a lack of self-confidence, convinced me not to pursue things further and our friendship remained platonic. I don't know how the relationship would have panned-out if we had gotten together - it may have been a complete disaster - or even if she'd considered going with me but, one thing I do know, is that I still think of her regularly and wonder 'what if'.

A month and a half may not seem like a lot of time for a relationship to develop but it could also prove to be one of the better experiences of your life.

The only question you have to ask yourself is can you live with not knowing how it all could have panned-out?

I'm with you on that point, I am not the only one who thinks too much...My problems are a little bit deeper than just lack of confidence though

A few things have hampered me over the years,

1.My lack of self confidence has cost me dearly, I could have been with some lovely girls, but always blew, while I am confident around girls the old saying 'If it looks to be good to be true, it probably is' always floats round my head, I am going through the same right now, you will know what I mean if you seen what posted last Friday night.

2. Life has dealt me a bad hand, I am frightened of turning into my biological dad, who was very handy with his fists so to speak, and despite being told I am the complete opposite to him, it has been a reason to fear commitment, because a mixture of mental health problems made sure of that as well

3. I am frightened of physical contact is serious, I was viciously assaulted when I was 17, I was scarred enough to the point that, since 2003, I have only had 3 very short relationships and sex 4 times, the last time being 2 years ago

(03 Nov 2014, 7:32 pm)Adam One of my favourite quotes is this: "Always tell someone how you feel, because opportunities are lost in the blink of an eye, but regret can last a lifetime".

Like I said yesterday, it's a lot to think about and I still haven't really made any progress. There are some things in life when you have to adopt a "grin and bare it" attitude.

Turns out I'm out with them tonight so you never know what might happen. Once I've had a few drinks anything can happen.

As my former Ethics teacher said, "it's always good to have a drink, because alcohol loosens the brain, and the looser the brain is the freer you think".

I dont like telling girls how I feel, It always ends in tears, it has left me bitter and heartbroken too many times now...One funny story concerns a former Metro Radio DJ(no names mentioned), in 2003 I went to Amsterdam with Metro, me and the DJ picked a couple of birds, and the DJ threatened me 'If you dont jump into bed soon, I will tell everyone you bottled it on my next show' bit of a cruel thing to do, but I lauh at it now, although I never had sex with her, was the best night I had for a long time

Big Grin Big Grin Big Grin
MrFozz
03 Nov 2014, 8:03 pm #723

(03 Nov 2014, 5:39 pm)AdamY I live with a lot of regret in my life. Some of that regret stems from the fact that, like you, I tend to over analyse situations. For me, it gets to the point where I somehow manage to convince myself that something I think is a good idea will lead to something bad (or that the effort is not worth it). When analysing these situations further, you sometimes end up regretting not acting upon initial impulse.

To relate this to your situation, around 15 years ago, there was this girl who I mad about. We were friends but I also had reason to believe that she also liked me. My analysis, combined with a lack of self-confidence, convinced me not to pursue things further and our friendship remained platonic. I don't know how the relationship would have panned-out if we had gotten together - it may have been a complete disaster - or even if she'd considered going with me but, one thing I do know, is that I still think of her regularly and wonder 'what if'.

A month and a half may not seem like a lot of time for a relationship to develop but it could also prove to be one of the better experiences of your life.

The only question you have to ask yourself is can you live with not knowing how it all could have panned-out?

I'm with you on that point, I am not the only one who thinks too much...My problems are a little bit deeper than just lack of confidence though

A few things have hampered me over the years,

1.My lack of self confidence has cost me dearly, I could have been with some lovely girls, but always blew, while I am confident around girls the old saying 'If it looks to be good to be true, it probably is' always floats round my head, I am going through the same right now, you will know what I mean if you seen what posted last Friday night.

2. Life has dealt me a bad hand, I am frightened of turning into my biological dad, who was very handy with his fists so to speak, and despite being told I am the complete opposite to him, it has been a reason to fear commitment, because a mixture of mental health problems made sure of that as well

3. I am frightened of physical contact is serious, I was viciously assaulted when I was 17, I was scarred enough to the point that, since 2003, I have only had 3 very short relationships and sex 4 times, the last time being 2 years ago

(03 Nov 2014, 7:32 pm)Adam One of my favourite quotes is this: "Always tell someone how you feel, because opportunities are lost in the blink of an eye, but regret can last a lifetime".

Like I said yesterday, it's a lot to think about and I still haven't really made any progress. There are some things in life when you have to adopt a "grin and bare it" attitude.

Turns out I'm out with them tonight so you never know what might happen. Once I've had a few drinks anything can happen.

As my former Ethics teacher said, "it's always good to have a drink, because alcohol loosens the brain, and the looser the brain is the freer you think".

I dont like telling girls how I feel, It always ends in tears, it has left me bitter and heartbroken too many times now...One funny story concerns a former Metro Radio DJ(no names mentioned), in 2003 I went to Amsterdam with Metro, me and the DJ picked a couple of birds, and the DJ threatened me 'If you dont jump into bed soon, I will tell everyone you bottled it on my next show' bit of a cruel thing to do, but I lauh at it now, although I never had sex with her, was the best night I had for a long time

Big Grin Big Grin Big Grin

Andreos1



14,241
03 Nov 2014, 8:10 pm #724
@Fozz.
Sounds like something a DJ who appeared on Come Dine with Me and flies a helicopter may do...
'Illegitimis non carborundum'
Andreos1
03 Nov 2014, 8:10 pm #724

@Fozz.
Sounds like something a DJ who appeared on Come Dine with Me and flies a helicopter may do...

'Illegitimis non carborundum'

MrFozz

Website
Marxista Fozzski

5,562
03 Nov 2014, 8:25 pm #725
(03 Nov 2014, 8:10 pm)Andreos1 @Fozz.
Sounds like something a DJ who appeared on Come Dine with Me and flies a helicopter may do...
Do you know said DJ mate, I say DJ, I dont think hemis on radio now, he went to TFM and was laid off last year, he is a nice bloke really, He cant hold drink well(his nickname was always Shandyboy), I have a pic of us spewing up, we did drink a full off licence worth of alcohol, that bad it actually took 4 weeks to fully recover, lol

The same DJ also looked after me when I was robbed on the ferry, I was sharing a cabin with 3 strangers and they nicked a load of my clothes, the DJ went down to the cabin amd confronted a guy, I have never seen anyone sober up so quick in all my life, he spotted a pint glass, filled it with water and threw it over this dude who was asleep, thought he was gonna die of shock Big Grin

One thing I will say, he loves himself and he was a bit of a fanny magnet, the women loved him
MrFozz
03 Nov 2014, 8:25 pm #725

(03 Nov 2014, 8:10 pm)Andreos1 @Fozz.
Sounds like something a DJ who appeared on Come Dine with Me and flies a helicopter may do...
Do you know said DJ mate, I say DJ, I dont think hemis on radio now, he went to TFM and was laid off last year, he is a nice bloke really, He cant hold drink well(his nickname was always Shandyboy), I have a pic of us spewing up, we did drink a full off licence worth of alcohol, that bad it actually took 4 weeks to fully recover, lol

The same DJ also looked after me when I was robbed on the ferry, I was sharing a cabin with 3 strangers and they nicked a load of my clothes, the DJ went down to the cabin amd confronted a guy, I have never seen anyone sober up so quick in all my life, he spotted a pint glass, filled it with water and threw it over this dude who was asleep, thought he was gonna die of shock Big Grin

One thing I will say, he loves himself and he was a bit of a fanny magnet, the women loved him

Michael



19,175
05 Nov 2014, 11:08 pm #726
Ahhhhhh adverts... being on for 5 minutes and decides to have a break!
Ooo Friend, Bus Friend.
Michael
05 Nov 2014, 11:08 pm #726

Ahhhhhh adverts... being on for 5 minutes and decides to have a break!

Ooo Friend, Bus Friend.

Diamond One

Banned

1,793
06 Nov 2014, 12:48 am #727
i had just completed an absolute heck load of flickr uploads then i get woken up when i am literely knackered if it was during the day but far enough i uploaded around 137 photos and now i feel absolutely knacked why me at this time of night
Diamond One
06 Nov 2014, 12:48 am #727

i had just completed an absolute heck load of flickr uploads then i get woken up when i am literely knackered if it was during the day but far enough i uploaded around 137 photos and now i feel absolutely knacked why me at this time of night

Dan

Website
Site Administrator

18,126
07 Nov 2014, 7:43 am #728
Had over 8 hours sleep and I'm still unable to get out of bed. Bus is due in half an hour, ugh...
Dan
07 Nov 2014, 7:43 am #728

Had over 8 hours sleep and I'm still unable to get out of bed. Bus is due in half an hour, ugh...

R852 PRG

Website


4,721
07 Nov 2014, 7:44 am #729
(03 Nov 2014, 8:10 pm)Andreos1 @Fozz.
Sounds like something a DJ who appeared on Come Dine with Me and flies a helicopter may do...

DJ Goldie?
bazaba

My Flickr: https://www.flickr.com/photos/142814434@N05/
R852 PRG
07 Nov 2014, 7:44 am #729

(03 Nov 2014, 8:10 pm)Andreos1 @Fozz.
Sounds like something a DJ who appeared on Come Dine with Me and flies a helicopter may do...

DJ Goldie?

bazaba

My Flickr: https://www.flickr.com/photos/142814434@N05/

Michael



19,175
07 Nov 2014, 7:45 am #730
(07 Nov 2014, 7:43 am)Dan Had over 8 hours sleep and I'm still unable to get out of bed. Bus is due in half an hour, ugh...

I'll let you off, its Friday although its horrible outside...
Ooo Friend, Bus Friend.
Michael
07 Nov 2014, 7:45 am #730

(07 Nov 2014, 7:43 am)Dan Had over 8 hours sleep and I'm still unable to get out of bed. Bus is due in half an hour, ugh...

I'll let you off, its Friday although its horrible outside...

Ooo Friend, Bus Friend.

R852 PRG

Website


4,721
07 Nov 2014, 7:46 am #731
(07 Nov 2014, 7:43 am)Dan Had over 8 hours sleep and I'm still unable to get out of bed. Bus is due in half an hour, ugh...

I'm always dragging myself out of bed on a morning, Dan. I tend to put all things than can prevent me from sleeping down at 10 or 11 at the very latest - and wake up at 7:30. Yet I'm always getting up feeling like I've slept with my eyes open.
bazaba

My Flickr: https://www.flickr.com/photos/142814434@N05/
R852 PRG
07 Nov 2014, 7:46 am #731

(07 Nov 2014, 7:43 am)Dan Had over 8 hours sleep and I'm still unable to get out of bed. Bus is due in half an hour, ugh...

I'm always dragging myself out of bed on a morning, Dan. I tend to put all things than can prevent me from sleeping down at 10 or 11 at the very latest - and wake up at 7:30. Yet I'm always getting up feeling like I've slept with my eyes open.

bazaba

My Flickr: https://www.flickr.com/photos/142814434@N05/

MurdnunoC



3,975
07 Nov 2014, 7:47 am #732
(07 Nov 2014, 7:43 am)Dan Had over 8 hours sleep and I'm still unable to get out of bed. Bus is due in half an hour, ugh...

Could be S.A.D. (Seasonal Affected Disorder).  Wink

http://www.sada.org.uk/
http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/Seasonal-af...ction.aspx
MurdnunoC
07 Nov 2014, 7:47 am #732

(07 Nov 2014, 7:43 am)Dan Had over 8 hours sleep and I'm still unable to get out of bed. Bus is due in half an hour, ugh...

Could be S.A.D. (Seasonal Affected Disorder).  Wink

http://www.sada.org.uk/
http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/Seasonal-af...ction.aspx

Michael



19,175
07 Nov 2014, 7:49 am #733
(07 Nov 2014, 7:47 am)AdamY Could be S.A.D. (Seasonal Affected Disorder).  Wink

http://www.sada.org.uk/
http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/Seasonal-af...ction.aspx

Omg, i didn't know that existed... that's gonna be my excuse from now on!  
Ooo Friend, Bus Friend.
Michael
07 Nov 2014, 7:49 am #733

(07 Nov 2014, 7:47 am)AdamY Could be S.A.D. (Seasonal Affected Disorder).  Wink

http://www.sada.org.uk/
http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/Seasonal-af...ction.aspx

Omg, i didn't know that existed... that's gonna be my excuse from now on!  

Ooo Friend, Bus Friend.

Dan

Website
Site Administrator

18,126
07 Nov 2014, 8:03 am #734
(07 Nov 2014, 7:47 am)AdamY Could be S.A.D. (Seasonal Affected Disorder).  Wink

http://www.sada.org.uk/
http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/Seasonal-af...ction.aspx
We actually discussed that last winter in school during a lesson.

I suggested that I'm always moodier in winter, and everyone thought I sounded like a right pillock (at which point it was rather embarrassing as I thought it would have been a fairly common thing) until the teacher gave us details about SAD.

That said, I'd have the deadliest of diseases if I always believed what I read on Google!
Dan
07 Nov 2014, 8:03 am #734

(07 Nov 2014, 7:47 am)AdamY Could be S.A.D. (Seasonal Affected Disorder).  Wink

http://www.sada.org.uk/
http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/Seasonal-af...ction.aspx
We actually discussed that last winter in school during a lesson.

I suggested that I'm always moodier in winter, and everyone thought I sounded like a right pillock (at which point it was rather embarrassing as I thought it would have been a fairly common thing) until the teacher gave us details about SAD.

That said, I'd have the deadliest of diseases if I always believed what I read on Google!

Adrian

Website


9,589
07 Nov 2014, 8:10 am #735
Weather. Looks like no Stockton trip today!
Forum Moderator | Find NEB on facebook
Adrian
07 Nov 2014, 8:10 am #735

Weather. Looks like no Stockton trip today!

Forum Moderator | Find NEB on facebook

Michael



19,175
07 Nov 2014, 8:10 am #736
(07 Nov 2014, 8:03 am)Dan We actually discussed that last winter in school during a lesson.

I suggested that I'm always moodier in winter, and everyone thought I sounded like a right pillock (at which point it was rather embarrassing as I thought it would have been a fairly common thing) until the teacher gave us details about SAD.

That said, I'd have the deadliest of diseases if I always believed what I read on Google!

I've noticed a change in my moods, although im happy this morning...maybe because im going to my placement and i get to play with sand and play-do all day Big Grin
Edited 07 Nov 2014, 8:10 am by Michael.
Ooo Friend, Bus Friend.
Michael
07 Nov 2014, 8:10 am #736

(07 Nov 2014, 8:03 am)Dan We actually discussed that last winter in school during a lesson.

I suggested that I'm always moodier in winter, and everyone thought I sounded like a right pillock (at which point it was rather embarrassing as I thought it would have been a fairly common thing) until the teacher gave us details about SAD.

That said, I'd have the deadliest of diseases if I always believed what I read on Google!

I've noticed a change in my moods, although im happy this morning...maybe because im going to my placement and i get to play with sand and play-do all day Big Grin

Ooo Friend, Bus Friend.

Jimmi

Website


10,974
07 Nov 2014, 8:58 am #737
Weather. Looks like no Stockton trip today!
I'm thinking of abandoning it too it's horrendous.
My YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC9HTKdt...fk4ab9rDjQ
My Flickr https://www.flickr.com/photos/127079988@N02/
Jimmi
07 Nov 2014, 8:58 am #737

Weather. Looks like no Stockton trip today!
I'm thinking of abandoning it too it's horrendous.

My YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC9HTKdt...fk4ab9rDjQ
My Flickr https://www.flickr.com/photos/127079988@N02/

MrFozz

Website
Marxista Fozzski

5,562
07 Nov 2014, 9:33 am #738
(07 Nov 2014, 7:44 am)Marcus DJ Goldie?
The dude with half gold mine in his mouth???

Not him Marcus...I was on about someone closer to home who lives/did live in Ponteland
MrFozz
07 Nov 2014, 9:33 am #738

(07 Nov 2014, 7:44 am)Marcus DJ Goldie?
The dude with half gold mine in his mouth???

Not him Marcus...I was on about someone closer to home who lives/did live in Ponteland

MrFozz

Website
Marxista Fozzski

5,562
07 Nov 2014, 9:38 am #739
(07 Nov 2014, 8:03 am)Dan We actually discussed that last winter in school during a lesson.

I suggested that I'm always moodier in winter, and everyone thought I sounded like a right pillock (at which point it was rather embarrassing as I thought it would have been a fairly common thing) until the teacher gave us details about SAD.

That said, I'd have the deadliest of diseases if I always believed what I read on Google!
I suffer this all year round...

Oh wait...I am just a miserable old sod anyway
Edited 07 Nov 2014, 1:43 pm by MrFozz.
MrFozz
07 Nov 2014, 9:38 am #739

(07 Nov 2014, 8:03 am)Dan We actually discussed that last winter in school during a lesson.

I suggested that I'm always moodier in winter, and everyone thought I sounded like a right pillock (at which point it was rather embarrassing as I thought it would have been a fairly common thing) until the teacher gave us details about SAD.

That said, I'd have the deadliest of diseases if I always believed what I read on Google!
I suffer this all year round...

Oh wait...I am just a miserable old sod anyway

Michael



19,175
07 Nov 2014, 5:06 pm #740
Go on to my Flikr and all i can see that... Someone has faved about 25 of pictures.

Please note i haven't uploaded anything in a LONG time.
Edited 07 Nov 2014, 5:07 pm by Michael.
Ooo Friend, Bus Friend.
Michael
07 Nov 2014, 5:06 pm #740

Go on to my Flikr and all i can see that... Someone has faved about 25 of pictures.

Please note i haven't uploaded anything in a LONG time.

Ooo Friend, Bus Friend.

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