Jokes *may contain bad language, bad jokes and bad taste*
Jokes *may contain bad language, bad jokes and bad taste*
Sorry but here is another one:
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.
Kay Burley has a face like a campaign poster for neglected donkeys.
I hate watching the Paralympics. I can't throw a discus, and I have arms!
One of the sluts in my tutor is the school bike. Everyone has had a ride on her!!
(27 Mar 2015, 6:58 pm)MarcTheA4 I hate watching the Paralympics. I can't throw a discus, and I have arms!I often had to represent my school in discus because the ones who were actually good at it did races instead. Discus was one of many sports I was rubbish at, wasn't a bad runner when I was in year 10/11 mind.
(27 Mar 2015, 6:58 pm)MarcTheA4 I hate watching the Paralympics. I can't throw a discus, and I have arms!I often had to represent my school in discus because the ones who were actually good at it did races instead. Discus was one of many sports I was rubbish at, wasn't a bad runner when I was in year 10/11 mind.
(27 Mar 2015, 7:06 pm)Jimmi I often had to represent my school in discus because the ones who were actually good at it did races instead. Discus was one of many sports I was rubbish at, wasn't a bad runner when I was in year 10/11 mind.
Damn didn't realise this was the jokes thread!
I am a joke does that count!
(27 Mar 2015, 7:06 pm)Jimmi I often had to represent my school in discus because the ones who were actually good at it did races instead. Discus was one of many sports I was rubbish at, wasn't a bad runner when I was in year 10/11 mind.
Damn didn't realise this was the jokes thread!
I am a joke does that count!
(27 Mar 2015, 7:19 pm)Dan Tommy's signature is a joke...
"Sunderland images upload postponed due to technical difficulties. I know that is a sad excuse."
Sounds like something the Tyne & Wear Metro Social Media bod would spout out when there's delays to service!
![[Image: KEN_LAPTOP_0.jpg]](http://www.nexus.org.uk/sites/default/files/KEN_LAPTOP_0.jpg)
(27 Mar 2015, 7:19 pm)Dan Tommy's signature is a joke...
"Sunderland images upload postponed due to technical difficulties. I know that is a sad excuse."
Sounds like something the Tyne & Wear Metro Social Media bod would spout out when there's delays to service!
Line that you'd never hear in a James Bond film...
''My name is Bond. Mohammed Bond.''
(27 Mar 2015, 7:35 pm)MarcTheA4 Line that you'd never hear in a James Bond film...
''My name is Bond. Mohammed Bond.''
), and almost every member of staff except the First Choice staff were called Mohammed.(27 Mar 2015, 7:35 pm)MarcTheA4 Line that you'd never hear in a James Bond film...
''My name is Bond. Mohammed Bond.''
), and almost every member of staff except the First Choice staff were called Mohammed.
(27 Mar 2015, 7:45 pm)Tommy_1581 I once went to Sharm-el-Shiekh (Ashington is worseAt the risk of humiliating myself and seeing my street cred plummet to zero...
I also gained the ****s when all I would eat would be spaghetti bolognese and ice cream.
Quite a random story that.
![[Image: 110.jpg]](https://goobeauty.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/110.jpg)
(27 Mar 2015, 7:45 pm)Tommy_1581 I once went to Sharm-el-Shiekh (Ashington is worseAt the risk of humiliating myself and seeing my street cred plummet to zero...
I also gained the ****s when all I would eat would be spaghetti bolognese and ice cream.
Quite a random story that.
