North East Buses

Couple of War Poems by Pvt. S Baldrick

Here the words I sing
Wars a horrid thing
So I sing, sing, sing
Ding-a-ling-a-ling

The German Guns

BOOM, BOOM,
BOOM, BOOM,
BOOM, BOOM, BOOM,
BOOM, BOOM,
BOOM, BOOM,
BOOM, BOOM, BOOM

EDIT: Moved from Anything and Everything to Jokes

Saw the following in the Co-op earlier when I saw this and took a picture...



Mr Brains 4 Faggots

Is this a new thing for our homosexual brothers

I am too easily amused

A body found by a dog walker in a wooded area in Oxford is thought to be the man suspected of killing his sister, his mother and her partner.

Police have released a statement saying, "The search has now been called off and we've lost our overtime, thanks to a nosey cunt."

BBC News....Elderly People Being Driven to Food Banks.

They should use their buses passes, they get them for fuck all too...

Don't forget to tune into RTE Ireland's new game show tonight

Mr & Mr

Women love it if you can last an hour without Cummin'

Unless your having a wank on a bus

----------------------------------------

I have an interview for a prison this week..


Or a 'Trial' as the prosecution is calling it

I mustache you a question but i think i'll shave it for later.

I decided to sell my hoover yesterday. All it was doing was gathering dust.

Not sure whether i have (or somebody else has) posted this before but:

Teacher: "Kids,what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"

A footballer played 1 game in his career and never played again, what you call him? Lazy

Sorry for poor joke

Bloke phones his work up pulling a sick, his boss asked just how sick was he...The guy said 'I'm having a threesome with my little and a Jack Russell

Loads of people about threesomes and how good they are...I am not sure on that...

Last time I had a threesome I fucked a Schizophrenic

I was in the bank earlier and an elderly woman asked me to check her balance. So I pushed her over.

My mother told me this:
What do you call a plastic bag with aids? A prostitute

How do you satisfy 4 whores in a pub?
Turn a stool over

Another blue one for the Dads.

I am in the doghouse with the wife again.

Last night, when she was fast asleep - I quietly sneaked over and carefully removed her tampax. I replaced it with a party pooper - leaving a little bit of the string hanging out.

I am telling you, that woman has no sense of humour at all!

Lifted from a mates twitter

How do you make a Sausage Roll?

Push it down a hill.

Not in Mother Goose rhymes
Y stands for Yanker.
The self-driving chap,
He greases his pole and
Provokes his own sap.

Absolved of the need of
A quarrelsome wife,
He humps himself nightly
And lives a great life.

Can't ever remember posting this one:

There was once a lady from France
Who took a long train ride by chance.
The engineer fucked her before the conductor
While the fireman came in his pants.

What's the capital of England? E
If a black house is black, an orange house is orange, what color is a green house? See through

Apologies for poor jokes