North East Buses

(18 Mar 2015, 8:01 pm)leestransportphotos wrote [ -> ]That last one is quite edgy like! The others a great [emoji23]

Got more edgy jokes...

WARNING:

The following jokes may be deeply offensive to people, I am wrapping them in a spoiler tags*...If easily offended, I ask that you just overlook it and jog on to the next one...I have had a little discussion with Dan before I posted this...Some words will be self-censored though)

*Spoiler tags do not seem to work on the Desktop Version of the site...So once again overlook it if your going to be offended

Scroll Down for the more edgier jokes...

Just for you Lee

Nigel Farage has made a statement about not doing so well in local elections in Lewisham. He has publically apologised to Lewisham's entire white community...A fella called Cyril

















































[spoiler]How do you stop a black baby crying?
Lick it's lips and stick it to the window[/spoiler]
[spoiler]Why do p**** have a red spot on there head?
Target Practice[/spoiler]
[spoiler]What do you do if you see a p*** with half a face?
Stop and reload[/spoiler]
[spoiler]What was the last thing Princess Dianas chauffeur said?
1 more drink, drive home and hit the pillar[/spoiler]
[spoiler]I wish people would stop criticising Jimmy Savile...When I was 8 he fixed it for me to milk a cow blindfolded [/spoiler]
[spoiler]Short of cash...Don't worry, tell the authorities Jimmy Savile fucked you when you were 14[/spoiler]
[spoiler]Jimmy Savile had to stop going to church...The Priests kept fighting over who got to hear his confession [/spoiler]
[spoiler]Jimmy Savile's £4m estate jas been frozen by the bank, in anticipation of damages claims from the victims of his sexual assaults...All things considered, it should work out at about 50p each[/spoiler]
[spoiler]Susan Boyle has returned her Jim'll Fix it badge out of total disgust at the way she was treated by him after appearing in his show...He never laid a hand on her[/spoiler]
[spoiler]What's the difference between Eden Hazard and Jimmy Savile?
One beats ball boys, the other beats boys balls [/spoiler]
[spoiler]Jimmy Savile fucked me when I was a kid, but the last laugh is on me, I grew up to be a necrophiliac[/spoiler]
[spoiler]Michael Jackson, the Pope and a bunch of kids are on a plane. Suddenly the plane becomes out of control and is on course to crash. 
"Here, there are 2 parachutes." said the Pope. 
"What about the kids?" replied Jacko. 
"Fuck the kids." said the Pope. 
To this, Jacko said, "We haven't got enough time."[/spoiler]

Thats enough for now

They're great haha, love the Farage one......

Can I post a racist joke I found on Google? Or will I get banned Unlike everyone else that would?

(18 Mar 2015, 10:37 pm)leestransportphotos wrote [ -> ]Can I post a racist joke I found on Google? Or will I get banned Unlike everyone else that would?

I just posted about 12 offensive jokes...

I would advise you do it the same way I did...Issue a warning and press enter 50 times so that they quite a way down the page and wrap spoiler tags round them

OFFENSIVE JOKE FURTHER DOWN, IF EASILY OFFENDED DO NOT READ IT






















































Do not be racist; be like Mario. He's an Italian plumber, who was made by the Japanese, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew!
AndrewLike81522144Social Media

It's not very funny, but
There's 3 lads in a classroom, One is called Willie, one is called Zip and the other one is called pee. The teacher leaves the room so the three lads play Hide and seek, zip goes on top of the wardrobe, willie hides in the wardrobe and pee hides around the corner. The teacher comes back in ans says "Zip down down willie out pee in the corner"

So, a few years ago, my school entered a sandcastle competition at Tynemouth Longsands.

We made the Angel of the North.

That celebrity from Boldon (what's her name?) was doing the medals.

A school had came first - for building a knob from a door at Durham Cathedral.

As they won, the sandcastle had to be destroyed anyway. So I sat on it.

















































Did you get it? Sit on the knob??? @n@l

Anyone want a great joke? Look at Newcastle United vs Arsenal on Saturday you'll all get a good laugh

What do Go North East Riverside depot do for their allocations? Pick a fleet number and then service out of different hats

A Radio Station runs a competition called guess the name, a blonde phones in and the presenter says 'what was the first name of Germanys wartime dictator Hitler', the woman thinks about it, after a few minutes of thinking the presenter says 'going to have to push you for an answer' the woman says 'it is on the tip of my tongue, the presenter say's 'look I will play and you ask someone or look up tbe answer', 3 minutes later, the song has finished and the presenter says 'I will repeat the question again, what was the first name of Germanys wartime dictator Hitler'... The blonde says 'I know it now.....It was Heil'

Here's a couple of bus jokes: (they aren't very funny)
What bus is good at sports? A Dennis Dart
What bus can you have a laugh with? A Lolyne

Liverpool airport has been shut for the past 8 hours due to a "Suspicious car".



Apparently it had tax and insurance and the radio was still in it.

(21 Mar 2015, 4:00 pm)aureolin wrote [ -> ]Liverpool airport has been shut for the past 8 hours due to a "Suspicious car".



Apparently it had tax and insurance and the radio was still in it.

And it didn't have a bloke with big teeth and can't speak properly?

A man phones the police and says there is a man braking into his shed.
The police replay saying "Sorry but we have no officers available."
The man phones them up 5 minutes later saying he has murdered the men breaking into his shed.
The police raced to his house and the man showed them his shed, and one policeman said "I thought you said you'd killed someone in here" and the man replied "I thought you said you had no police officers available"

Rubbish joke about Arriva - please do not click the link below if you are easily offended or are allergic to the type of bus. I do not claim responsibility of any deaths or injuries that by clicking on the below link may occur.


See first result that shows up  


























https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=arriva+crap+buses&client=safari&hl=en-gb&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=-E4QVZa8Osu07gb05ICYBQ&ved=0CAgQ_AUoAQ&biw=1024&bih=672

Bit racist...(got a few of them!)...

What's the difference between Batman and a black man?
Batman can go into a shop without Robin.

I'd like to see Tyne and Wear expand to include Tees. Would then be Tyne, Wear and Tees. TWAT.

Thought about a joke relating to this photo on my Flickr
https://www.flickr.com/photos/127079988@...otostream/

I want to put something like "pandas are an unusual sight in Middlesbrough although black eyes aren't"

Obviously I can't put that on my Flickr.

(23 Mar 2015, 8:37 pm)MarcTheA4 wrote [ -> ]I'd like to see Tyne and Wear expand to include Tees. Would then be Tyne, Wear and Tees. TWAT.

Hmmm, you've taken that joke off another thread, haven't you?

Cue Dan saying that they might take the 'A' out... 

Relevant to the discussion in the TV thread, but  the Tweet from Terry made me laugh:

Louise Mensch @LouiseMensch
Britain has got so pathetically wimpy #Clarkson

terry christian @terrychristian
@LouiseMensch s terrible that the day has come when a wealthy powerful person can't just hit some peasant and get away with it #clarkson

Why did the man take his wife's underwear off? They kept digging into him

Why did the baby onion cry? His parents were in a pickle.

A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough."

Man walked into a library and asked for a book about UKIP.... The librarian said "Get the fuck out' the bloke responds "That's the one"

(26 Mar 2015, 6:03 pm)leestransportphotos wrote [ -> ]Man walked into a library and asked for a book about UKIP.... The librarian said "Get the fuck out' the bloke responds "That's the one"

Kill me please..............

It's a joke.......

A collection of some of the best books never written

20 years in the saddle by Major Bumsore
Korean Paedophilia by Fuk Em Yung
Diary of a Russian Breast Surgeon by Dr Rippatitov
Yougoslavian Kerb Crawlers by Mr Onyackyabic
Americas Longest Rover by Misses Hippy
Bubbles in the Bathtub by Wynn D Bottom

Japanese Joyriding by Tommy Tuckamota
Zen and the Art of Throwing Shit by Hoo Flunn Dunn

Slap me Silly by Big Joe Billy.

Indian Prostitution by Ramidin Singh