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RE: lifes little mysteries
(17 Dec 2014, 8:20 pm)Jimmi wrote Probably both.

My mobile phone mystery is how can anyone bare having their phone make a noise everytime they press anything, once had someone sat next on the bus endless texting away with a noise made everytime they keyed a letter / word into it, I wanted to punch them because it was that annoying.
See I usually apply a two minute rule. If someone is still on the phone after that time, I remind them of the rule. If they continue yapping, they get a more blunt approach.

I tent to put my phone on silent if I'm having a text conversation in public, otherwise it irritates me Nevermind others.
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RE: lifes little mysteries
It's when they press anything not just sending receiving texts which just makes me think how can you bear that horrible noise every second.

I also hate it when people listen to music through headphones but have it turned up so loud that you can clearly hear, at times I have my headphones in but can hear their music better than mine as I don't want mine turned up to deafening volume.
RE: lifes little mysteries
(17 Dec 2014, 8:08 pm)aureolin wrote Why do people insist on using phones in the quiet coach. Are they stupid, ignorant or both?

But if they have it on Silent, to be honest when I went to Edinburgh my Dad rang me to check I got on the Train etc ok, and this Women started having a go at me for being on my Phone, and she was banging on about it being "the quiet coach", I had no idea what she was talking about until further into the Journey when I realised just how quiet it actually was, although there no more than 15 People in Coach anyway.
RE: lifes little mysteries
(17 Dec 2014, 8:38 pm)Malarkey wrote But if they have it on Silent, to be honest when I went to Edinburgh my Dad rang me to check I got on the Train etc ok, and this Women started having a go at me for being on my Phone, and she was banging on about it being "the quiet coach", I had no idea what she was talking about until further into the Journey when I realised just how quiet it actually was, although there no more than 15 People in Coach anyway.
Doesn't matter if there's 5 or 50 in the coach. A lot of people, myself included, book into the quiet coach deliberately. It's fair enough if you didn't know, and it's why I always ask politely first time round. It's only if they persist that they're firmly told to get out.
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RE: lifes little mysteries
Members of this forum and their toilet/digestive issues.

Is it as prevalent throughout the community or just this forum?

Malarkey seems to share his toilet experiences quite often.
Fozz can clear a bus and now Jimmi has had issues in Darlington! 
'Illegitimis non carborundum'
Marxista Fozzski
RE: lifes little mysteries
(09 Feb 2015, 2:41 pm)Andreos1 wrote Members of this forum and their toilet/digestive issues.

Is it as prevalent throughout the community or just this forum?

Malarkey seems to share his toilet experiences quite often.
Fozz can clear a bus and now Jimmi has had issues in Darlington! 
Toilet humour is great jnnit
RE: lifes little mysteries
(09 Feb 2015, 2:41 pm)Andreos1 wrote Members of this forum and their toilet/digestive issues.



Is it as prevalent throughout the community or just this forum?



Malarkey seems to share his toilet experiences quite often.

Fozz can clear a bus and now Jimmi has had issues in Darlington! 

Not my fault Darlington Borough Council closed the public toilets.

The phrase to best summarise this discussion is "shit happens"
Marxista Fozzski
RE: lifes little mysteries
(09 Feb 2015, 4:16 pm)Tommy_1581 wrote Shit does happen (well, in Dalton Park and Darlington) 
Plenty of shithouses in Dalton Park...Last time I was there, there was 2 and the crapper in Maccy D's
RE: lifes little mysteries
(09 Feb 2015, 4:18 pm)MrFozz wrote Plenty of shithouses in Dalton Park...Last time I was there, there was 2 and the crapper in Maccy D's

When I was last at Dalton Park they were both locked and I had no time to run to McDonalds because I had to catch a 22 to Peterlee.
Marxista Fozzski
RE: lifes little mysteries
(09 Feb 2015, 4:22 pm)Jimmi wrote When I was last at Dalton Park they were both locked and I had no time to run to McDonalds because I had to catch a 22 to Peterlee.
Thats me shot down...lol
RE: lifes little mysteries
(09 Feb 2015, 2:41 pm)Andreos1 wrote Members of this forum and their toilet/digestive issues.

Is it as prevalent throughout the community or just this forum?

Malarkey seems to share his toilet experiences quite often.
Fozz can clear a bus and now Jimmi has had issues in Darlington! 

I dropped a silent one on the 88 to school and had the whole bus retching.
Against the Anti-Lee Club.
RE: lifes little mysteries
(09 Feb 2015, 7:00 pm)danpick wrote I dropped a silent one on the 88 to school and had the whole bus retching.

Thats something somebody from Chester-le-Street would do! Tongue 
RE: lifes little mysteries
(09 Feb 2015, 8:49 pm)MarcTheA4 wrote Watch it...Stanley..! Rolleyes

Whey...there must be a dozen areas of chester that would do stuff like that. Stanley has its theory of setting fire to stuff, drugs and stabbing people is the best way about life. God knows what the people of chester-le-street think but im sure farting discretely on buses is a trend with all habitants of the place.
RE: lifes little mysteries
Okay, I have a true thing happened about two weeks ago.

In my school we have a link - known as 'the link' (no surprise!) and on a morning me and my friends sit there. Me and a friend are normally the first ones in at 08:15 - and there is typically half a dozen of us by 08:25. I remember a great big fat Year 11 bitch came in (she's known for rampages) and her sister, also fat, in Year 9 - had fallen out with her. I mean, fallen out with her. Big style (pun intended). She was telling her sister to go and dive off a cliff and land on the rocks of hell. Most of us were sniggering, and and then as she turned away from her sister she slipped. PAHAHAHAHAH

It was a bit cruel of me to burst into laughter, and I quickly shut up before she came over and killed me. She slowly got back to her feet and BANG - she goes down again - faceplants the hard cold floor!!! I know it's absolutely awful but I was almost crying, not at the fact that she fell over but because a teacher had been standing out of sight laughing his backside off...Tongue
RE: lifes little mysteries
(09 Feb 2015, 8:59 pm)MarcTheA4 wrote Okay, I have a true thing happened about two weeks ago.

In my school we have a link - known as 'the link' (no surprise!) and on a morning me and my friends sit there. Me and a friend are normally the first ones in at 08:15 - and there is typically half a dozen of us by 08:25. I remember a great big fat Year 11 bitch came in (she's known for rampages) and her sister, also fat, in Year 9 - had fallen out with her. I mean, fallen out with her. Big style (pun intended). She was telling her sister to go and dive off a cliff and land on the rocks of hell. Most of us were sniggering, and and then as she turned away from her sister she slipped. PAHAHAHAHAH

It was a bit cruel of me to burst into laughter, and I quickly shut up before she came over and killed me. She slowly got back to her feet and BANG - she goes down again - faceplants the hard cold floor!!! I know it's absolutely awful but I was almost crying, not at the fact that she fell over but because a teacher had been standing out of sight laughing his backside off...Tongue

Don't talk about your mum like that Tongue God...you living in Chester-le-Street is suddenly starting to emerge now like. Knew you couldn't hide it in for ever.
RE: lifes little mysteries
(09 Feb 2015, 9:11 pm)MarcTheA4 wrote Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....you bitch! Tongue

Well. I couldn't resist saying that. I assume she can fit through a doorway without struggling though?
RE: lifes little mysteries
(09 Feb 2015, 9:32 pm)MarcTheA4 wrote A kid shit himself on the big slide at the Krazy Kingdom (Stanley....!) on a trip in Year 4.

I can tell you more upon request...

Why Stanley! I have already been abused once today. I can throw 3813 into a river for leaving me and ill need to think of what i can do to you. Tongue 
Marxista Fozzski
RE: lifes little mysteries
(09 Feb 2015, 9:32 pm)MarcTheA4 wrote A kid shit himself on the big slide at the Krazy Kingdom (Stanley....!) on a trip in Year 4.

I can tell you more upon request...
I once crapped my pants in Tenerife, had the worst case of the Russian Revolutions ever, The food in the hotel was absolutely vile, I got the shits just looking at it...My guts rumbled like an earthquake, I ran so fast to my hotel room, I collapsed in the bathroom and poohed a lil bit...

Not sure I should have admited that
lifes little mysteries
(09 Feb 2015, 10:05 pm)Robert wrote Why Stanley! I have already been abused once today. I can throw 3813 into a river for leaving me and ill need to think of what i can do to you. Tongue 

Basically he (Louie) was a friend of mine (we chat occasionally nowadays, blame the apartheid of secondary school!) and our Year 4 teacher was leaving to work closer to her home in Bishop Auckland.

We had an entire afternoon of doing whatever we wanted, the whole of the Krazy Kingdom was ours. We were having a brilliant time, and myself and 2 other friends as well as this boy decided to have a race down that massive bumpy slide.

Myself and the other 2 raced down to the very bottom, but realised he hadn't. We looked up and saw him frozen in horror at the first bump, grabbing onto the sides of his slide. We shouted up and asked him what was wrong, and he started to bubble then cry. In the midst of the tears he just yelled 'I'VE POOED MY PANTS!!!'.....

That was a moment I'll never forget. The other 2 friends ran off to the cannon firing thing on those balconies where you fire the little balls down at people on the ground. I was left to try and help him. I stood at the bottom while he cried at the top of the slide, I felt sick at the thought of what his pants looked like...

I just went to go and get our teacher, who was leaving, and I fondly remember half of our year just standing at the bottom of the slide whilst two Krazy Kingdom employees tried to get him down. One went down the slide next to him with a mask and some spray to clean the area. The other one tried to get him to come down with the promise of a change of clothes.

He disappeared into the toilets and on the coach home all I remember was him wearing some baggy jeans opposed to the grey trousers of our primary school uniform.

....and that's why in my head I call him Pooie Louie! Big Grin...
Marxista Fozzski
RE: lifes little mysteries
(09 Feb 2015, 10:52 pm)MarcTheA4 wrote Basically he (Louie) was a friend of mine (we chat occasionally nowadays, blame the apartheid of secondary school!) and our Year 4 teacher was leaving to work closer to her home in Bishop Auckland.

We had an entire afternoon of doing whatever we wanted, the whole of the Krazy Kingdom was ours. We were having a brilliant time, and myself and 2 other friends as well as this boy decided to have a race down that massive bumpy slide.

Myself and the other 2 raced down to the very bottom, but realised he hadn't. We looked up and saw him frozen in horror at the first bump, grabbing onto the sides of his slide. We shouted up and asked him what was wrong, and he started to bubble then cry. In the midst of the tears he just yelled 'I'VE POOED MY PANTS!!!'.....

That was a moment I'll never forget. The other 2 friends ran off to the cannon firing thing on those balconies where you fire the little balls down at people on the ground. I was left to try and help him. I stood at the bottom while he cried at the top of the slide, I felt sick at the thought of what his pants looked like...

I just went to go and get our teacher, who was leaving, and I fondly remember half of our year just standing at the bottom of the slide whilst two Krazy Kingdom employees tried to get him down. One went down the slide next to him with a mask and some spray to clean the area. The other one tried to get him to come down with the promise of a change of clothes.

He disappeared into the toilets and on the coach home all I remember was him wearing some baggy jeans opposed to the grey trousers of our primary school uniform.

....and that's why in my head I call him Pooie Louie! Big Grin...
Poor little bastard is probably mentally scarred for life

[Image: pants.gif]
Marxista Fozzski
lifes little mysteries
Couple of things I always wondered...

1. Why does a kick knackers hurt so much?
2. If you squeeze a nut hard enough could you literally burst them?
3. When we go grey or white haired, does the same happen with pubes...

#mrfozzsratheroddthinking
#NEBhashtags
RE: lifes little mysteries
(23 Feb 2015, 2:07 pm)MrFozz wrote Couple of things I always wondered...

1. Why does a kick knackers hurt so much? Don't know.
2. If you squeeze a nut hard enough could you literally burst them? Don't know.
3. When we go grey or white haired, does the same happen with pubes... Don't know.

#mrfozzsratheroddthinking
#NEBhashtags


Hope this helps.