So after reading and replying about school stuff in the annoying thread, I thought I would start this thread for our school memories

At Choristers

1. At an end of year tutor group party, I walked in with 40 quids worth of sweets and chocolate what I had stole and stashed away for weeks

2. One morning I was bored, one of my mates suggested we ring another lads mother and tell her what we wanted to do with her, there was hell on about it, and the funny thing about it was the lad whose mam we rang was stood right behind me

3. Bored one day, I decided to see if I could get literally everyone talking, so I thought it would be funny to tell write a suicide note...ok, I lied, it was close to 50 suicide notes and put them in 50 changing room lockers, I certainly got attention, I was made to stand in front of the whole school and apologise
4. When Tony Blair first became Labour Leader, a Telegraph or Guardian hack came to the shool looking for a photo as Tony Blair had gone to school there, me and 2 mates volunteered to have our picture, the photographer asked us to get permission from our tutor or headmaster, we didn't of course and get hauled over the coals for that
5. Broke someone's hand after he took the piss out of me, nearly got permanent exclusion for that

I held a couple of records there, worst choir audition and worst student in the schools house system, we be given a + or -, merit/demerit whatever you want to call it, and for 2 years my points were always in the red, leaving -50 at one point over a month

At Easington...

Had only been there about 10 days when someone badgered me to fight someone for taking the piss out my sister, I kicked the crap out of him

Having a snowball fight with a friends and I accidently hit the deputy heads canister...splattered all over his bald fat head, lol
Led a strike

Set fire to my school uniform in protest at how I was being treated

When I was in Middlestone Moor Children's Home me and my mate decided were going to play truant for as long as we could...What did we get up to, went to Peterlee Library for about a week

And time I wanted to kill someone, a kid tortured me for ages, one day he came up behind me and dug his knee up my arse, so I picked up half a brick and chased him knowing I would seriously hurt him or even murder him

The time someone said 'poke the teacher in the back with a compass' I did and the kid said do it was the one who grassed me up...

Another teacher(Business Studies)who hated me said something to me one day, so I said 'By the way Dave, do you use Mr Sheen to get your head so shiny' I got doubly wrong for that, for calling him by his first name and being cheeky

Getting sent home after R.E. for renouncing god.

Panini Football stickers (Primary school).

Faking an eye-test so I could have glasses.

Never playing truant until my last ever day at school.

Getting put on report for writing lewd comments in another classmate's homework diary. (x2).

Getting sent off during most football matches (Primary school).

Royal Rumble style matches on the school playing field.

Getting hit in the eye by a 5p coin.

As for sport, I only lot sent off once and that was during rugby training one day, this kid was doing my head in, taking the piss and showboating like we had never seen before, I just said to him 'next time you have the ball, keep your distance from me', he got the charge and ran at me to try and charge at me, when he got about 15' in front of me, I charged at him arm out and tensed up, let's just say John Bradshaw Layfield would have been proud of that clothesline

Doleing under the stairs in year 9

Getting put on report for sticking up for someone who was being bullied....lets say my dad stormed down the school and wasn't happy...

Getting chased by a big black car at tit hill while doling off school, first time we ever doled from school to haha.

Walking in to a open window while outside

Kicking the wall and setting the whole fire alarm system off.

Banging my spoon while having lunch after learning we had maths on the afternoon... this caused the custard to fly up the wall,we were gone within 10 seconds...

Not really specifically about me, but here goes:

Seeing a fair few teachers absolutely mortal at Prom. One was chucking up in the toilets and another was found outside the venue at 2am, where they were then put into a taxi home.

The many funny jokes and stories from my Business teacher over the last couple of years.

The same teacher forever calling is McLovin, because I look quite like him when I have me specs on.

Leading my team in a competition, finishing second and winning £1,000 for my school. The teachers were so impressed they gave us £500 of the winnings and told us to organise a trip for ourselves, so we went to Edinburgh.

The mad Irish RE/Ethics teacher I had. An absolute legend.

Some of the teachers doing a flashmob in the middle of the dinner hall during breaktime.

Throwing a Snowball up the Corridor, and getting caught out by a Teacher who saw my Reflection in the Window, as she was walking up the Humanities Department (History and Geography) to us.

Throwing Snowballs at other Students on the Yard, but Accidently hitting the Head Teacher, Deputy Head and your Tutor in one Shot

Having a Snowball chucked off you, chasing the culprit, and tripping him up on Black Ice, where then cracks his Head Open off a Steel Gurder which supports and keeps the roof of the School in Place

Sneaking Snowballs into Lessons

Getting into a shed load of Fights in School, Year 7/8 I ended up in atleast 2 or 3 a week, due to getting bullied and always ended up being my fault in Teachers eyes.

Kicking the P.E. Teacher in the Balls, after he thought it would be funny to trip me up, when doing cross country.

Impersonating my English Teacher (Year 10/11 and Tutor (Year 7 to 9) Mr Tyrell, as he spoke funny, he used to constantly kick me of English for no Reason, then complain to my Tutor for (Year 10/11) Miss Leach about my Behavior, to be honest I would shagged Miss Leach, as she was Unreal, thought i'd just put that out there.

Skipping Science with Mrs Proctor, as she always held up the Lesson, because other students were being disruptive, put up with that for the whole 5 Years I was in Comp, My other Science Teachers were Mr Armstrong and Miss Rand, where actually attended because I actually learnt something.

Lobbing someone in a 5 Aside Goal, quite an embarrassing moment for the Person in Goal, they got grief every P.E Lesson for that Howler.

Forcing 2 Lads who were Gay, to get changed in the Girls Dressing Room with the Girls, as we were convinced they were watching us get changed, this decision was made by the Head Teacher after a Few of us along with our P.E Teacher complained.

Oh i also forgot to mention the fit teachers... my drama teacher had massive knockers!

Remember kit kat, the twin porn stars..in year 8 i was taught by them in drama.

I was once out in the town and seen a few teachers proper pissed.

Calling 1 of the teachers cod eye haha

Once had to dress as the inn keeper at Christmas once in church in front of the whole school, I felt like a right bell end.

Due to some confusion with me having the same name as someone else I thought I was going to a sports event when it wasn't me going which caused problems as we were going swimming that day and because I thought I was going to the sports thing I had no swimming shorts so I had to borrow some (which is disgusting really) also they were far too big for me.

Went to the park once and I went on one of those rocking things on a spring and I have no idea how but the stitching got caught so I fell with the stitching still caught then discovered that I now had a massive hole in the back of my jeans, thankfully I was able to tie my hoodie round my waist to stop people from noticing.

I hated P.E. Most weeks I would storm off because I was terrible at everything, one week we was playing rounders and I couldn't swing the bat at the right time and I hate people telling me how to do things so having people shout "SWING THE BAT" did have bad results and I'd had enough so I threw the bat behind me and nearly hit someone in the face. Other P.E. fails include hitting my head with a javelin. I was so useless when it came to sports I would only get picked so early for things because my friends were actually quite good unlike me.

We had a supply teacher for English for a while and honestly he was terrible in that time I don't think we did anything at times he would read a book for 20 minutes then we got to have free time for the rest of the lesson which just ended up with searching stupid things, we once spent over 30 minutes on Compare the Meerkat.

(21 Aug 2014, 10:36 pm)Michael wrote Oh i also forgot to mention the fit teachers... my drama teacher had massive knockers!

Remember kit kat, the twin porn stars..in year 8 i was taught by them in drama.

I was once out in the town and seen a few teachers proper pissed.

Calling 1 of the teachers cod eye haha

We had teachers we nicknamed

Spunky/Plastic Arse...Don't know why(Mr Holden)
Scarlett after the Gone With The Wind(Mrs O'Hara)
The Pencil Haired Lesbian who used pencils or pens to keep her bouffant up and was supposedly shagging her lab assistant(Miss Fleetham)
Little Hitler(Miss Malcolm)
Shovels(Mr Shevels)
Rennie(Mr Hartburn)

Just remembered some more things:

We once had to sit in a class staying silent and doing nothing for a 45 minute lesson because someone had scratched a counter in the food tech room with a knife.

Another interrogation was someone on our table broke a cocktail stick in a Science lesson there was three suspects: Me, my mate and the person who did it, but the person who did it wouldn't admit to it and everyone knew he did it but in the end it got to the point were it became unfunny and annoying so my mate said he did it.

Just in this last year......

Incident A:
Was asked by my Drama Teacher to get ready to perform, and as my group had been practising near her desk, I tagged her chair along with me. Before I realised, the moment I began to move the chair......the moment she began to sit down......got yelled at in the corridor for it....... It was a complete accident!!

Then, I'm pretty sure this can be classed at Teacher Bullying? She then claims there's a bruise on her arm to other teachers, I take a look and ask her is she colourblind?!

Then, during a Shakespeare performance, I get forced into doing some kind of speech thing. After I completely fail at doing it, I get asked if I want to do Thursday night. I say no, and then my Drama Teacher tells the Head of Drama that I pulled her off her chair, and guess what, I wound up doing Thursday night!......

(22 Aug 2014, 5:09 am)Marcus wrote Just in this last year......

Incident A:
Was asked by my Drama Teacher to get ready to perform, and as my group had been practising near her desk, I tagged her chair along with me. Before I realised, the moment I began to move the chair......the moment she began to sit down......got yelled at in the corridor for it....... It was a complete accident!!

Then, I'm pretty sure this can be classed at Teacher Bullying? She then claims there's a bruise on her arm to other teachers, I take a look and ask her is she colourblind?!

Then, during a Shakespeare performance, I get forced into doing some kind of speech thing. After I completely fail at doing it, I get asked if I want to do Thursday night. I say no, and then my Drama Teacher tells the Head of Drama that I pulled her off her chair, and guess what, I wound up doing Thursday night!......

I guess something I never did as I would just walk out of school...Detention

I love Performing Arts, but hate anything to do with Shakespeare, as my dear old grandfather used to say 'He should have been drowned at birth'

Love this clip from Blackadder: Back and Forth



If only I had a Deloreon and Flux Capacitor [SMILING FACE WITH OPEN MOUTH AND TIGHTLY-CLOSED EYES]

School memories for me:

Scribbling together notes or conveniently forgetting my kit to get out of PE! I enjoyed swimming, cricket and softball- anything else no, no!
My history class been absolute terrors for our newly qualified history teacher in year 9. Feel so sorry for her looking back!
Setting alight a cloth during a cookery lesson! Teacher wasn't very impressed had a safety homework sheet to complete after that!
A group of us 3 lads, 2 lasses who were sent out most Maths lesson by our teacher each lesson!
Technology Teacher who was a right prick! Need less to say, when he was made redundant a year later I was very pleased! Karma

(22 Aug 2014, 10:28 pm)Drifter60 wrote School memories for me:

Scribbling together notes or conveniently forgetting my kit to get out of PE! I enjoyed swimming, cricket and softball- anything else no, no!
My history class been absolute terrors for our newly qualified history teacher in year 9. Feel so sorry for her looking back!
Setting alight a cloth during a cookery lesson! Teacher wasn't very impressed had a safety homework sheet to complete after that!
A group of us 3 lads, 2 lasses who were sent out most Maths lesson by our teacher each lesson!
Technology Teacher who was a right prick! Need less to say, when he was made redundant a year later I was very pleased! Karma

When I was a kid, simply forgetting your P.E. kit was no way to get out of P.E. We would have to do it in our pants, there were always a few who would forget there kit, and there was always someone who wore white underwear that contained the obligatory skidmark, even me at one point probably

(22 Aug 2014, 10:56 pm)marxistafozzski wrote When I was a kid, simply forgetting your P.E. kit was no way to get out of P.E. We would have to do it in our pants, there were always a few who would forget there kit, and there was always someone who wore white underwear that contained the obligatory skidmark, even me at one point probably

Oh lovely! Just wouldn't happen these days...

(23 Aug 2014, 5:57 am)Dan wrote Oh lovely! Just wouldn't happen these days...

I know, I would be horrified if things like that still happened todah

(23 Aug 2014, 8:35 am)marxistafozzski wrote I know, I would be horrified if things like that still happened todah

Still does at my old primary! (or that happened whilst i was there).