I bought some'Jamie Oliver Sausages' yesterday. On the packet it said 'Prick with a fork'…. I thought, can't argue with that!
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When cooking Alphabet Soup, don't leave it unattended, it could spell disaster.
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I had a row with my wife last night, she threw a bottle of fabric conditioner at me and it only just missed my head. It must have been Lenor because it was a bit too close for Comfort.
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I love that new Korean vegetarian snack pot. Not Poodle.
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My mate makes crockery disappear. I said are you a wizard? He said no I'm a saucerer.
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Whoever stole my trainers whilst I was on the bouncy castle, just grow up!
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Just bought an ABBA toilet....what a loo!
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I’ve swapped our bed for a trampoline. My wife hit the roof!
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Two Thai girls asked me if I’d like to go bed with them; they said it would be just like winning Lotto! I agreed, and they were right. We all stripped off, and to my horror, we had six matching balls!
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