(17 Dec 2015, 12:08 pm)BusLoverMum wrote All I can say is that if you can find anyone to lean on for support, then forget any idea of keeping a stiff upper lip and internalising your grief. Am I right in thinking (and hoping) that you must have developed some contacts and built up a bit of a support network over the years? At the very least, go talk to your GP about the dark, dangerous place that your grief is dragging you into. Even if you can't see the point in staying out of self destruct mode for yourself, right now, then do it for your sister and anyone else who is already devastated by what happened to her. Think of it as not letting that asshole of addiction get both of you x.I have just been laughing all day about my sister, dragging up memories of her, being a straight talker, she would say what she thought, would not beat around the bush, she was quite sly as well, if we were being naughty, she would stop just in time to see me get wrong and she would get away with it
Pah - I replied in the wrong box
She also had a habit of borrowing things and never give them back, that went on for years...
She could be aggresive and very defensive, she would not ever admit to that saying 'I'm not agressive, I am assertive' if she went on the offense, she could destroy you and she once unfriended me and blocked me on Facebook for about 5-6 weeks all because I put a picture of me and her on FB and I tagged it, my life wiuld not be worth living if she seen the last photo we had taken on facebook...She was wise beyond her 32 years, there was a kind of role reversal in our house, in that she would keep my mam in check when it should have been the other...
As I owed her 25 quid, I can imagine when I goto Heaven, she will tell St Peter 'If he hasn't got my 25 quid, dont let him in'
So I am getting through the day, remembering the person she was, the personality and attitude she possessed, it is starting to put a halt to my game of Russian Roulette with my own mental health...