It's obviously a spoof page, but made me laugh.
First Buses
We received a complaint, via e-mail, from a Mrs Anne Lewis, from Leeds:
Hi. I was on a number 9 this morning.
The driver stopped outside a house in Middleton, announced he'd be back in a minute, and disappeared into a house.
It quickly became obvious that he was visiting a woman for a "booty call", as there was a gap in the living room blinds, and we were treated to the sight of the driver lifting up the woman's nightie, and giving her a good porking on the couch.
All in all he was only in for five minutes, but this made me late for work, and I think his behaviour was highly unprofessional, especially as he got back on the bus, still wiping spunk from his trousers. I'm not happy at all!
Hello Anne.
We reviewed the CCTV footage from the bus, and you're correct, the driver's conduct was unacceptable.
We found out, to our horror, that he had left the engine running during his conjugal visit, which is completely at odds with our carbon emission reduction policy. As such, he has been issued with a verbal warning, and reminded of our "green policies", which include switching off the engine whenever possible. We hope this has been resolved to your satisfaction.
Thank You
The First Buses Team
10 hours ago