(19 Mar 2023, 5:02 pm)Andreos1 wrote I've often imaginged the conversation to be like this between them.
Operator: hey, how's it going? We need some help.
DfT: yeah, good thanks. Haven't seen you for a few weeks. Hit me up. What do you need?
Operator: Well, we tried painting the buses funky colours, we installed some WiFi and plugs and still nothing.
DfT: Is that the WiFi and stuff that we helped pay for?
Operator: That's the ones! We developed the app using data from the ticket machines you helped pay for too.
DfT: Still no joy?
Operator: Nah, the passengers still aren't coming. We blame covid.
DfT: Have you asked the passengers what they want or where they want to go on your buses?
Operator: Don't be daft. That would be too much hard work. Plus they keep changing their habits. Anyway, we've brought along Oliver.
DfT: Who is Oliver? Is he the new guy in your commercial department?
Operator: Don't be daft, we just keep the same faces and sometimes mix it up a bit with people from other companies. It's what we call our begging bowl. Please sir, can we have some more?
DfT: Of course you can. Tell you what, we've got a dead horse too. We will throw in a stick to keep hitting it with, along with a share of a few billion pounds.
See you in a couple of weeks!
Ha that made me laugh, not think it'll be more like this though up here
Operator: Hey I'm struggling to pay the shareholders and my bonus this year, do us a favour.
DfT: Erm erm erm, erm, can you not cut some more stuff instead.
Operator: I've done that, the driver's are all on strike I can't do anything and we've already sold the depots to top the funds up.
DfT: Oh strikes, they don't look good, let's see what I can do.
-- Checks accounts --
DfT: Covid, good excuse that one we'll give you some more money people will fall for that. Just remember to mention Ukraine aswell, that ones popular.
Operator: Thanks man, I'll make sure we'll make it up sometime soon.
DfT: No worries, it's not our money. Can call it levelling up aswell and mention Consett 10 times. Suckers up North!!
Operator: Yeah and it'll shut that clown Gannon up, he does my head in.
DfT: Oh he's a right prick.