How many people here remember of heard of Bobby Thompson, probably one of the best Comedians the North East ever produced...I was young when he died, my Granddad had a show on Vinyl and 1 on video and we would sit and watch them constantly when I was a child...

Thought I would share some of my favourite Bobby Thompson jokes

The Littlewoods Man
There was a knock at oor door last Wednesday mornin'. He says, 'Am fromLittlewoods', I says, 'God bless ya! I've won the treble chance?!' He says, "Nah, your wife's up for shoplifting!

The Bike and Dog
A policeman bangs on Bobby's door and says: "Thompson, it's your dog - it's running after everyone on a bike." Bobby says: "We'll you'd better take the bike off it."

Showing a pack of Woodbines
I found a packet of Woodbines 38 year ago, I have 3 left.

The Baillif
There was a knock at the door, man asks 'Is Mr Thompson in', I said 'Come in and take a seat', he said 'I'm coming in to take the lot'

Going to Blackpool
We'll fly from Easington and stop at Peterlee to refuel

We arrive at Blackpool railway station on holiday. A porter asks: "Carry your bag, sir?" Bobby says: "No, let her walk like everyone else."

Going to a Doctor
Doctor said 'Flu', I said 'No, came on my bike'

Doctor said 'Are you constipated' I said 'No, Roman Catholic'

Waterloo
Got in a taxi and asked to goto Waterloo, the taxi driver replied 'The Station' I said 'Am owa late for the battle'

Getting the bus with General Montgomery
You get two returns, I'll get them coming back

Buckingham Palace
Hello Mrs Sovereign

The Queen later said
[George] isn't going anywhere, he's been off work for 3 weeks and hasn't put in a note in yet

The Queen came up tiv us with a plate of cakes. "Bobby, would you like a scone or a meringue? I said, "Nah ya quite right, ah'll have a scone"

Air Raids
I shouted to her mother 'Get down to the Air Raid Sheleter, she said 'Hold on till I find my teeth', so I said 'There dropping bombs, not Pork Pies'

Neville Chamberlain
'Whats this I hear about trouble with Germany', 'I don't know Bob, but I have got a pigeon away'

Hitler
Chamberlain said he would meet me here tonight, if he doesn't me turn up, theres gonna be war on.

Going to War
Bobby's off to fight Hitler. His wife says: "I'll miss him." His mother-in-law replies: "I just hope the Germans don't."

Anyone else like The Little Waster